Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Reality Bites

Miss Wendy over at the textured leaf sent an award my way. Versatile Blogger Award. There are rules but it's a bit 'chain mail' so I won't be following them. I am supposed to tell you seven things about me so, I will.

It's not something I have been involved in before but I thought it was time I shared some more (obviously you've all been wondering.....:o) and sometimes I don't feel like the real me on this blog. I mean, I'm me, it's just I don't swear, I'm always nicely dressed, I don't squeeze pimples...you get it, I'm like the version of me I probably should try and be all the time.

Reality Bite Number 1:
I spend an inordinate amount of time on this couch.

That's my hand sewing but there's no intention of doing any of that tonight. The tv remote - never far away when I'm seated, my phone for texting, a book for during the tv ads, my diary because I left it there the other day and....my bra. Yep, reality is that I randomly take my bra off and leave it where ever. I am wearing a top for those concerned about me getting a cold again.


Reality Bite Number 2: 
I don't have a water saver shower head and I don't keep my showers to 4 minutes.
On the other hand, I don't flush very often so I'm saving lots of water there.
It's not gross - there's even a poem about it!
'If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down!'



Reality Bite Number 3:
She spewed on my carpet.
There really isn't that much carpet at my house but that is where she hucked. It's orange. The carpet is not.

Oh look. There's my bra again!



Reality Bite Number 4:
I love to cook but I hate doing dishes. I was a 'dish pig' also known as a kitchen hand, for 3.5 years when I was at school so I believe I've done more than my fair share. I don't have a dishwasher so generally you will find dirty dishes on my sink. I also believe in the drip dry method so there are always either clean or dirty and quite often both.
See I AM a bad kid!


Reality bite Number 5:
My tipple for this evening. It's contains chili so now I am not chilly.
It's not a giant bottle, it's a tiny glass. The winery was called 'Lost the Plot' and is in Margaret River W.A.
There is a whole shelf dedicated to booze in my pantry. I struggle to open 'special' bottles so they will last. Luckily for my liver, there are only 'special' bottles in there.



Reality bite Number 6:
I want to be a lot more productive then I am. I have a huge amount of fabric but I don't delve into it nearly enough. I'm great at starting or even just pondering the uses but I don't get much finished. I really must work on that...



Reality Bite Number 7:
Sometimes real life is hard and sometimes I want to slap sense into people. I mean really, actually slap them. I am judgemental, bitchy, don't shave my legs nearly often enough (poor Mr CP) and I'm stubborn. I let people down. I am late. I am bossy. I whine about my job. I call my cat 'sh1t for brains' just for the fun of it (I say it in a sing song way so she thinks I'm saying something nice) and I still sleep with my teddy. His name is Ted.

On the other hand...I like to do nice things for people when they least expect it (no, not just after I've slapped them!). I love to stop and take a second to look at the stars before heading to work on night shift. I like that some of you think I AM a nice girl that doesn't swear :o) I'm proud of who my dad made me be.
I absolutely love patchwork, fabric, notions and all things quilty.
I am so excited about where this jaunt could lead.
Hope you come along for the ride.

Do any of you hide a little bit of you from Blogland?

Abbe

16 comments:

  1. What a fab post! You gave me a good chuckle for sure. My blog is an edited crafty version of me for sure...
    I never swear on the blog, I call my cat 'bastard cat' - he pooped on my carpet three times last week (when 80% of my house is tiles). I hardly ever shave my legs, but I never think to take my bra off while sitting on the couch...hee hee

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  2. ROFL...I LOVED this post! Especially the random bra thing! And yes...truth be told, I hide most of me from my blog readers. I just don't think anybody really wants to know the truth about the real me I guess! LOL

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  3. You make me laugh Miss Abbe! I cannot believe you left your bra in all the pics and I can't believe you swear at your cat in a sing song way to pretend you're being nice. You are nice, you're so not a boring patch work blogger and I'm super glad you are my friend and email me late at night. XX

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  4. Oh god ... I love how you've let it all hang out (and I just realised I made a punny! LOL). You are so funny. I got the funniest looks from Mr H because I couldn't stop laughing. I am totally who I wish I was on my blog too ... I have the worst potty mouth (my kids don't swear because it grosses them out. I just wish I'd smoked so that would gross them out and they would never have started)

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  5. I just loved your post Abbe. I could relate to a lot of it and had a really good laugh.I do the bra thing, potty month yes can be a bitch yes, stubborn yes, long showers yes, and much more. LOL

    Good choice of wine from a great region of my state.

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  6. Abbe, Great post. My blogging persona is pretty much who I am, but as you say softened and with rounded edges so noone hurts them selves. I would really love to let rip one day with a whole line of swearing "dumb ass" was a big step-lol but would hate to offend anyone so "Bleep" instead. Thinking about things now I am bloody boring, I don't leave my bra hanging round, don't want to give DH any silly ideas that might get his hopes up only to be shattered in one foul sweep, do call the cat a pain in the arse at times, love my TV, our house is tidy, I am lazy when it comes to cooking, I don't mind it but have to be in the mood otheriwse I play dumb and just sit there waiting for someone else to do it mainlhy cause I'm not really fussed on deciding what to cook. I can be a sloth. I love our friends but some days when they come up the drive I just feel like running and locking the door and hiding and pretending I'm not home. Actually yeah, I don't sound like this on my blog at all-lol.
    hugs Deb

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  7. Hilarious Ab. I looked at the couch photo and briefly though OMG did she realise she left her bra there. I should have known better. I'm sensing your blog is going to be a whole lot cheekier now. Love it!!

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  8. Excellent post. And wasn't God invented to drip dry dishes? Ahem.

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  9. I loved, loved, loved this!
    You totally let go (I expected nothing less) and got with the program. I am with you on not wanting to pass it on but im left with the conundrum of weeeeeeeeell, if I didnt pass it to you then I never would have laughed at your bra and cat antics and never been confronted enough to explain how much of my blog is the real me (im hoping I give 80% with only the crap left out; but im working on 95% without mentioning the toilet breaks)
    x

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  10. Abbe , thanks so much I really really needed a laugh like that , warning swearing to come , it has been a shit of a week !

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  11. Oh my god! We are so life time buddies now!! I too leave my bra hanging around!! And more often then not on the couch!! And I swear...and I'm rarely sorry I do! And I hate dishes! Why do you think I got married?! Love it! You are totally fabulous in your non bra wearing, swearing, name calling, couch sitting, booze drinking, non dish washing ways! Perfect just as you are :)

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  12. Thanks for a good morning laugh. Love your blog.

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  13. I just got here from Julie's Narioka blog to see who shows her underwear in her blog. I have laughed so loud that my 7 year old thinks I have lost my mind. Listen, I live on the other side of the planet (for some people at least) and I am amazed at the effect of globalization. I swear a lot, specially driving, hate dishes, take long showers (but try not to), leave my bra somewhere and look for it....sometimes.
    Thanks for making me laugh!!
    Greetings from Argentina

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  14. With you on no's 4,6 & 7!
    Would love to leave my bra around too but the screams of terror when I remove the upholstery and the risk of causing an injury of the sagging/swaying/tripping kind means I leave it on and tuck them back in.
    Mmmm is that sharing too much ?

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  15. at least you tell it like it is! actually I'm bad at taking my bra off and leaving it downstairs! It's just so much more comfy without it!!!!!!!!

    corrie:)

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